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[OFFICIAL] Mac Miller Memorial Thread

This is the official memorial thread for Mac Miller
R.I.P Mac Miller, 1992 - 2018
UPDATE 9/12:
Mac Miller Vigil in BSP
Kendrick Lamar speak on Mac
UPDATE:
Shane Powers says goodbye to Mac
Earl Sweatshirt - Mac spirit allowing me to fuck with my music rn and im THANKFUL

Wiz Khalifa - Praying for Mac’s family and that he rest easy 👼🏽 #pgh #412
Jaden Smith - "Long Live Mac Miller, Rest In Peace We Love You
Chance the Rapper - "I dont know what to say Mac Miller took me on my second tour ever. But beyond helping me launch my career he was one of the sweetest guys I ever knew. Great man. I loved him for real. Im completely broken. God bless him."
Soulja Boy - "RIP Mac Miller 🙏🏽"
Rex Orange County - "this is incredibly sad. mac miller was a great person and my friend rip :("
JPEGMAFIA - "RIP Mac Miller. I can’t believe this shit"
Q-Tip - "Damn.... @MacMiller we worked pn sum fire a while back he had tribe tatooed on his arm. Super sweet dude man. Comfolences to his fam 🙏🏽🙏🏽"
Shawn Mendes - "Unreal. So sad. RIP Mac Miller ❤️"
J. Cole - "Rest In Peace to the great soul Mac Miller"
YBN Nahmir - "I remember staying up late af & always hearing “Donald Trump” by @MacMiller on @MTV at like 5AM when I was younger. Sad to see a legend pass away."
Alison Wonderland - "RIP Mac Miller 😔
Skyzoo - "RIP to the homey @MacMiller. Super cool dude who was a good friend and a true hip hop head. Always showed wild love when we’d link. Smh."
Father - "RIP Mac man, what the fuck"
Earl Sweatshirt - "bro plz"/"THE MAN WAS TOO GENEROUS ! HE EXTENDED HIS HOME TO ALL OF US . PEACE TO THE MILLER FAMILY AND THE WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY. WE HURTIN"
Domo Genesis - "My heart is broken af, that’s my fucking bro man."
Zack Fox - "we all felt supported and loved by Mac and that’s incredible, thank you for supporting me, thank you for the music, we was just roasting russ, I told you to go on a date with betty white to make everybody mad, enjoy your peace brother"
ZOMBIE Juice - "Dam Rip Mac Always showed us love"
Desus Nice - "Rip Mac Miller. Damn"
ICYTWAT - "man, i deadass smoked my first or second blunt to k.i.d.s at 12 lmao hiding in my backyard playing that shit off my zune mp3 :-( rip Mac."
AKTHESAVIOR - "Rip to the young legend Mac miller thanks for all the love you showed us man can’t believe this shit. Our generation needs to open up there eyes and see there’s only one ending result to drug abuse and there’s no coming back. I love all of you. Tired of loosing our leaders to drugs."
Mick Jenkins - "peace be on his closest friends and loved ones..rip Mac"
Pusha T - "😔🙏🏿 #RIP @MacMiller"
Joey Fatts - "@MacMiller RIP Bro, was just by the old crib yesterday. You will be missed."
Logic - "Mac I Love You! You were a huge inspiration on my come up. Thank you for the countless hours of fun listening to your music with my homies! This has me so fucked up! You will be missed and always remembered #KIDS"
El-P - "oh man. rest in peace Mac Miller."
Bodega Bamz - "Wowowowowowowowowoowowow DAMN MAC"
Casey Veggies - "Rest Easy @MacMiller aka MAC Meezy. Can’t believe I’m typing this. This one hurt bad..you really like a brother to me. I’ll never forget you bro, You will live forever. 🙏🏽"
Post Malone - "God fucking dammit. You were such an incredible person. You changed so many lives. Had so much love in your heart. You inspired me throughout highschool, and I wouldn't be where I was today without you. Never a more kind and sincere and beautiful person. I fucking love you mac."
The Internet - "Love you brother. you gave so much to this world. Rest easy Malcolm."
Lupe Fiasco - "RIP Mac Miller Condolences to your family and friends. May God have mercy on your soul."
Future - "My guy MAC MILLER...rest up bro 🙏🏿"
Rich Brian - "This is unbelievable. RIP Mac Miller, thank you for your beautiful work while you were here, this shit has got to stop happening."
Bun B - "I just talked to this kid like 3 weeks ago. This is so fucked up. Such a talented guy. Always had great energy. God bless you Mac. Rest In Peace."
Da$h - "Took this picture when I saw you a 2 weeks ago. I love you dawg. Can’t ever thank you enough for being you. See when I get there."/"MALCOLM IS SOME ONE I COULD NEVER THANK ENOUGH FOR BEING WHO HE WAS AND LOOKING OUT THE WAY HE DID. IM GOING TO MISS HIM EVERYDAY. Q, JIMMY, PEANUT SEND MY LOVE TO YALL NIGGAS. MACWORLD."
Joey Bada$$ - "Breaks my heart every time we lose one... I will forever appreciate you bro you supported me and gave me a shot from the very beginning. Because of you a 17 year old and his friends from Brooklyn got to play in front of 5000 after a day of school. That shit changed my life. I wish we got to hang out more and make more music.... Life is way too short appreciate everyone every moment. ❤️ R.I.P. MAC MILLER"
Aminé - "you always congratulated me on the little shit i did and made me feel great about my work. i can’t believe this right now. a true artist and true friend. you will be remembered as one of the greats. love you mac, rest easy."
A-Trak - "I'm really hurting. Mac always showed love. He was always supportive and genuinely curious. I can't believe it. We just spoke last weekend. I loved watching his growth, this guy could do anything he wanted musically. Please watch his NPR Tiny Desk concert it's so good. 💔💔💔💔 RIP"
Jonwayne - "Don't read the news. Read this. This is the man I knew."
A$AP Rocky - "REST IN PEACE KING, LOVE BROSAY 🙏🏿"
Lil Xan - "I don’t wanna do this shit no more,rest in peace to my hero"
Snoop Dogg - "So sad u gone home young Mac I had to post this to smile and think about the good Time we had on the set of this movie man god bless ya family. Pittsburg we lost a real one today 🌟 @macmiller 🙏🏾"
Open Mike Eagle - "goddamn. rest in peace Mac Miller"
?uestlove - "Mac was one of the nicest, coolest dudes man. This is sad man."
Kehlani - "WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO OHANAS THIS WEEK I WAS SUPPOSED TO COME THIS WEEKEND WE WERE SHOOTING YOUR VIDEO NEET WEEK WE HAD TO FINISH YOUR NEW FAVORITE SHOW NO NO NO NO U GOT THE SATURN TATOO AFTER I DID UR CHART THIS IS TOO MUCH"
Chevy Woods - "Wow bro ... Rest easy @MacMiller Damn cuz 😢
Solange - "Rest in your peace Mac Miller. Always exuded so much kindness and goodness. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us all."
Lil Dicky - "so sad. mac miller was a great dude. when i began my career he went out of his way to talk to me on the phone and give me advice. an amazing artist and human being"
Alessia Cara - "shocked & sad about Mac Miller. such a talented guy with so much life ahead. RIP."
Khalid - "this hurts my heart man RIP bro @MacMiller"
Swae Lee - "Woke up to some bullshit RIP Mac Miller"
Russ - "Damn wtf...rip Mac miller"
A$AP Ferg - "Rest in Paradise. You embraced me before I was I was signed. You brought a Belt I made back in the days and linked me with “Daily breads “ to do a collab with your friends brand. I hope you felt no pain in your transition! Love always. Very sad news"
MadeInTYO - "I love you brother .... you gave me good advice & you was my friend & you jumped on my album I miss you bro , I really doooo , this one is really never gonna feel the same. you told me to come over this week but I was in Paris .... I’m sorry ... I wish I was around more bro ... Malcolm I love you ! Pray for the world & Mac’s family !"
Bebe Rexha - "I am so deeply saddened to hear of the passing of @MacMiller. Sending love and light to all of his friends, family and fans."
Cher Lloyd - "I’m lost for words. This is such shocking news. We’ve lost another true talent. Rip Mac Miller"
Lil Yachty - "Rest In Peace Big Mac. Amazing Energy. solid & postive. So many things we was pose to do... one day we still will brother....Live on brother !!!!!!!"
Juicy J - "I’m so fucked up right now this is so sad I can’t believe it R.I.P. MAC MILLER"
John Mayer - "I’m so sad that you couldn’t stay, Mac. I’m so terribly sad."
Miguel - "Man, I don’t want this to be true. Mac was ALWAYS good energy. INSANELY talented and never got the credit he deserved. The utmost love for you Mac man. Sending my love and condolences to your mom, the sweetest ever, and your family and friends. Lightwaves on your journey my friend 🙏🏾🖤🖤🖤"
Ugly God - "Remember when Mac dropped his Album the same night Astroworld dropped and yall were saying “y’all hear sum?” “who still listens to him” & “tell him keep it”? We had a whole convo about it & he literally told me if he died people would act like they never said it. fuck yall. RIP."
Kid Cudi - "Really fucked up about Mac"
Peter Rosenberg - "No words for how much I loved this kid...so much on my mind ...and so many others...he was SUCH A PART of this hip hop world we all take part in...he was such a sweet person...and he was year by year becoming more and more of a complete musical genius....I could go on forever about why this hurts so many people so badly....but plain and simple...I love you bro...we all did..see you on the other side"
Westside Gunn - "FUUUUUUUUCK HOMIE!!!! Guess Now they’ll give u your Roses smh a true musician, we lost a GREAT 1 and you still have the Illest Shit Out 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #RIPMACMILLER Fun Fact he heard me and Conway was the illest and invited us right over had a good time wit the Homie you’ll be missed"
Lucki - "Rest In Peace"
Chief Keef - "R.I.P my dude aka LFisherman BKa Mac Miller"
Curren$y - "Damn bruh u fucked errbody day up ... love u my young homie!"
Fashawn - "Rest easy Mac. 😢"
Chuck Inglish - "I love you Man. I always called to check on u. You were my lil brother... I wish I had a pass w god to give u another chance. I’m not ready for u to be gone bro.. I’m hurt."
Jay Electronica - "May Allah be pleased w Mac Miller. He was a brother and friend of mine. This news has saddened me."
Pouya - "how much more can we take"
Abra - "pure hearts don't die"
Evidence - "Fuck"
Kevin Abstract - "Fuck man"
J.I.D. - "fuck we just lost a full musical genius and a great person, sending prayers and love to his family.. tell someone you love them today"
Lil B - "Mac miller my brother I love you - Lil B"
Seth Rogen - "RIP Mac. I was texting with him one week ago about trying to be in his video, which was so nice and exciting because I was a fan of him as an artist and a person. This is surreal and terrible."
Joe Budden - "I’m really fucked up over Mac’s passing. Prayers to his family, loved ones and fans… Rest In Peace @MacMiller"
Robb Bank$ - "RIP MAC MILLER"/"A LEGEND AND AN INSPIRATION FOR ME TO MAKE CALENDARS
Tyler, the Creator - "rest easy macaroni"
Pharrell - "Can’t believe it was six years ago, we were working in Miami on Pink Slime. I just wanted to make the hardest records with you. And then I discovered you could sing too. And I kept telling you you could sing, but you didn’t want to hear it. And your latest project has all the singing... Very happy for you, but can’t believe that this is the moment I got to tell you that. Sending deepest condolences to your family. RIP Mac Miller."
Maxo Kream - "RIP bro we just met at a Cole concert and I wanted to get you on my next album. Fightin dese demons not easy tell my nicca Fredo I love em"
Christian Clancy - "i don’t know what to say. it’s not real yet. you were more alive recently than i’ve seen in awhile. i feel like u kept things away from me at times, which ud never admit, but the shift was palatable.. it felt real... the clarity and purpose in your voice about life and ur future... joking about how close ur abs were to a 6 pack (debatable)..... perfect? no. who is. but the demons weren’t steering and the smiles were genuine. maybe at least until u were alone. you were as selfless a human being as i’ve ever known. everyone else’s happiness came first. never rocked the boat. maybe u should of. but that wasn’t ur style. my favorite thing about you is how u treated chloe. that said everything. i think youth had that innocence you craved, free from all the heaviness inside you.. the heaviness that got you. it’s a lesson for those of us that cook our emotions on the inside. a lesson to those who still feel invincible. this is gonna take awhile. you were an incredible human with an incredible family and friends who were all excited about the path you were on. you were so proud of “swimming” - it was the album you wanted to make. u did that and it’s brilliant. i’m heartbroken. i’m angry. but i love you and im gonna feel instead of cook this time. i’m grateful to have known such a beautiful human being whose main goal in life outside of his art was to make everyone around him ok. love u, malcolm."
Nardwuar - "R.I.P. Mac Miller. Gone far too soon."
The Kid Mero - "RIP HOMIE YOU COULD TAKE A JOKE AND U WERE A REAL ASS HUMBLE DUDE. BLESS"
Clams Casino - "RIP Mac! There are a lot of special memories and good times I will have in my heart forever...thank you for all of those. Mac always stood out to me because he was a genuinely kind and down to earth person that would go out of his way to look out for people. I’m happy for the music we made together and thank you for impacting so many peoples lives."
MixedByAli - "Woke up sick thinking damn how could I have helped. Can’t believe this . Until we meet again my boy . I’m sorry"
Vince Staples - “I must’ve died and went to heaven...currently in shock it’ll hit me in a second. What’s your question? You need a blessing right? Or you just wondering what heavens like.” I’ll see you soon. Thank you for everything... for all of this. I love you.
Julia Kelly - "Today I gained the most beautiful angel. My heart is hurting. Shattered. Today I lost one of the most amazing humans that has ever entered my life. Malcolm McCormick, I would give anything to have you back. Our memories will never be erased. I am forever grateful for you. Thank you for your laughter and endless amounts of love. You brought me out of my shell and broke me free from my shyness. The most gentle soul. Your mind was like no other. Waking up next to you was a dream. Thank you for always making me feel at home. I’m going to miss your sweet forehead kisses and affection. I would give anything to talk to you one last time and express my love. I love you forever, Malcolm."
Asher Roth - "this one hurts"
The Weeknd - "Rest In Peace Mac Miller. It’s a sad day."
Tory Lanez - "R.I.P Mac wtf !!!!!! Too soon man too fucking soon !!!! This is unreal"
YG - "RIP MAC MILLER"
Rapsody - "I love you always, Mac! Forever the most dope. Thank you for helping to change my life. And so many in this culture. .....so unreal."
Machine Gun Kelly - "Mac. this just fucked us all up. u were too rare...damn. from eating frozen chicken wings in my basement to ur voice speaking to a generation. u did it homie. wish this wasn’t even a conversation. @Innerviewq i love u and am here for u."
Ty Dolla $ign - "I don’t know if people get what these comments will do to a person . Y’all talk so much shit behind a fake account and never show your face . Rip my brother Mac life is too short . Tell someone u love them today . Please"
Rich the Kid - "Rip Mac Miller"
Carnage - Love you brother @MacMiller"
Loaded Lux - "👁♥️"
Charlamagne the God - "I had a lot of great conversations with this young man on and off air. All we did was clown each other. Even deep convos ended with a joke. Rest Easy To My Pal Mac."
Angela Yee - "Heartbroken to hear the news about Mac Miller. My condolences to his family and loved ones, and I feel blessed to have known him"
Diplo - "My first day on tour in Australia I saw Mac in the lobby .. he was having a small fling with one of my dancers and asked her to dye his hair pink before tour started.. and then he wrote this dope song called pink bathwater (one of thousand songs you probably will never hear) . He drank whiskey at major lazer after-party is til 4 am.. went back to festival at midday .. played piano like Mozart with the sun blazing down on him.. throw up on stage . Cry a bit, rap some more then pass out in the grass and text me a few hours like where we going next .. next five years I see this guy everywhere .. best people I could always count on.. we made a lot of music in my first studio in Burbank.. he kept getting better and better .. this dude lived so hard was so amazing and talented and still extremely missunderstood.. another video is me and @skrillex on New year's Eve at MSG and Mac just came out at midnight like he was he headliner in his Riddler suit. Fuck I couldn't stop laughing .. he was always there in the middle of the best moments .. and if there wasn't a vibe he created it and made the room brighter .. he radiated positivity, but there wasn't a balance.. the other side was he was deeply insecure and always found substitution for what was missing in his life .. For a second think about the people around you and make sure they are always aware of the love .. don't take a second forgranted. They might need you and you don't even notice it because your too busy .. always gonna love you Mac"
Videos:
J. Cole in concert dedicating "Love Yourz" to Mac.
Watching Movies With The Sound Off Visual Album by Chadbraham.
submitted by TheHHHRobot to hiphopheads [link] [comments]

Certainty

Roy "Sarge" Jovanovic lounged in his pilot's chair scrolling through ship designs, trying to find the one that would make the most tempting target. A screen to his left listed all of the transponder codes in the ship's database and the fleets with which they were associated, a screen to his right held a dizzying array of maps, graphs, news searches, and other information about shipjackings in the local sector over the past year, and the front screen showed a live feed from a scout drone's camera, floating about a klick off the port bow to give him a good view of the ship's current appearance.
Roy was the executive officer of one of the many small, unaffiliated fleets that plied the spacelanes in Human territory. Once humanity finally got around to colonizing other solar systems, seemingly everyone on Earth wanted their own slice of the interstellar pie, but not everyone had the resources for it. Where many governments and international corporations commissioned their own fleets, and the largest governments and megacorps were even able to build multiple fleets for their various departments and business units, a lot of the smaller nations and domestic companies simply didn't have the funds for more than one or two ground-to-orbit transports, if that. So dozens of independent fleets started popping up to service those needs; these fleets often came with range limitations, exorbitant fees, slow jump drives, low cargo capacities, and other annoyances, but their clients couldn't exactly afford to be picky.
He eyed a particular scatter plot to his right for a moment, pondering, then tapped a name on his left. "Hello Alibaba," he called, "Set ship identity to FENL." The ship's virtual assistant acknowledged the request with a cheerful chime. Within moments the front screen showed that the ship's hull now bore the bright and blocky red-and-green-with-yellow-highlights pattern of the Frota Estrela Nacional de Lisbon, the Portuguese starfleet, and the ship's bland flattened-oblong shape now boasted the sweeping curves associated with products of the Lisbon shipyards, thanks to some incredibly illegal nanofabricators placed strategically throughout the hull; actual physical modifications would hold up much better to EMPs and invasive sensor scans than the standard holographic emitters that freelancers generally used.
Independent fleets were hired for all sorts of tasks of all degrees of legality, depending on their individual capabilities. Sometimes they were glorified delivery drones, sometimes pirates asset acquisition specialists, sometimes scouts for colony fleets, sometimes covert assets for larger organizations who wanted to keep their hands clean. Roy's fleet, Charlie's Chameleons, was a well-equipped and experienced mercenary fleet and one of the few trusted to play the deniable-asset role, as they were doing now. While humanity was nearly a decade into the process of officially integrating with the larger galactic society and it would probably be a decade more before their laws, technology, and such were fully integrated with the other species', unsavory types had already set up shop near the borders of Human territory years before and had started to make a nuisance of themselves, and now several Human colonies were quietly starting to take steps to deal with them.
The Chameleons' current target was one Rit!tkatp, an unpronounceably-named and incredibly cunning member of a major T!ka!irtk gang that had steamrolled the other criminal organizations in several systems a few years back and was now running basically every illegal enterprise in the sector from black marketeering to smuggling to things best left unmentioned. If that gang was the Italian Mafia in Space--and they did try to cultivate that impression, to the extent that a bunch of ugly pseudo-insectoids could pull off the "gentleman criminal" look, anyway--then Rit!tkatp was their Godfather, and he had a particular penchant for shipjacking that had led the colonies of Abydos Prime, Malcor III, and Newer Zealand to hire the Chameleons to do something about it, before the gang scared away all shipping from their respective solar systems and left them cut off from the wider sector.
The virtual assistant chimed again. "Ship designation?" it asked in a dispassionate, slightly Chinese-accented voice. Roy tapped his chin and stared at his right screen, not responding. "Ship designation?" the ship asked again after a brief pause, and Roy waved a hand in irritation. "Bah, that won't work. He goes after eighty-three percent of FENL shipping in this region, but we still don't know what makes the bastard pick one ship over another and we can't afford to guess wrong."
"That's a bit long for a name, boss, and it's not Portuguese," the ship remarked, this time in a much more human-like voice and one tinged heavily with sarcasm.
Roy glared briefly in the general direction of the front viewport, trusting that the ship's ex-military AI, Karma, would have no trouble seeing his expression through one of its many cameras scattered throughout the bridge. (Having an AI on a non-military vessel was just as illegal as the transponder database and the nanofabricators. Something of a running theme with the Chameleons, really.)
"What did I say about breaking character?" he asked mildly.
"Hey, I have to play dumb when clients are around, so I have to get my snark on when I can," Karma replied. "Plus, Charlie decided on this personality when you know I like playing Siri better, so you can just deal with disappointment. And before you ask, no, I wasn't able to find any good correlations in the FENL data either, so if you haven't had any brilliant ideas in the past ten seconds you might as well try another one."
"Fine," Roy grumbled. A bit more scrolling and pondering, then: "Hello Alibaba--" "Still right here, boss." "Hello Alibaba, set ship identity to IDF." As the cheery yellow-and-blue-circles pattern of the Ikea Delivery Fleet rapidly painted itself across the hull, Karma asked, "You're thinking he might go for quantity over quality, then, boss?"
Roy glared again, then sighed, giving in. "Maybe. We know he likes the bigger consumer goods shipments, for whatever reason, but none have come through here in a while so he might go for a smaller cargo."
"Makes sense. Designation?"
"Hmm. The IDF Some Assembly Required."
"Good one, boss."
"Nobody asked you."
(The first generation of Earth starships bore exactly the kinds of names one would expect. Every country had so many ships named for historical and pop culture references--the most popular in America being Serenity, Millennium Falcon, and Enterprise among the civilian fleets and Washington, Midway, and also Enterprise among the military fleets--that even prepending ship designations wasn't enough to tell them apart. That, plus several fleets being sued into bankruptcy by Disney's intellectual property division, made most everyone change naming conventions. After First Contact, when it was discovered that a short-irreverent-phrases scheme was both unique among known spacefaring species and also incredibly irritating to quite a few of them, even the most humorless bureaucrat was happy to go along with the trend; the first few years even saw informal contests for the most innuendo-laden ship names until the diplomatic corps begged for it to stop so they wouldn't have to keep explaining the jokes to other species' fleet registrars.)
Within seconds the ship's new name was added to the hull and the ship's transponder was switched to broadcast the new identity, but Roy still wasn't satisfied. "That won't work either. They never send high-tech stuff in their midrange transports, so there's no way he wouldn't pick up the signature of the bombs or the trackers, or both."
"I think maybe you're being too paranoid, boss. T!ka!irtk scanners aren't that advanced compared to Human ones. We can probably risk it."
"Easy for you to say; if he blows us out of the sky, you can just reload from backup. Let's see. Give me SAF colors, designation Not All That Glitters. No, cancel that, same problem...."
Their wannabe Space Don Corleone was one of the best in the business. His organization operated in eighty sectors falling under at least fifteen different species' legal jurisdictions, and not once had any court managed to get any allegations to stick. Rit!tkatp worked through shell companies of shell companies, always had bullet- and plasma-proof alibis, employed legions of lawyers to ensure he never saw the inside of a law enforcement vehicle (much less a jail cell), never put his name on anything if he could help it, and never left witnesses in any state to testify against him. At least three Earth-based governments and several colonial fleets had task forces waiting on hot standby at all times to jump in, arrest the gangster, and seize his assets the moment he gave them the slightest excuse...but he never gave them that excuse, and so their ships were continually restrained by leashes of red tape and impotent fury.
The Chameleons' employers were well aware that they weren't exactly squeaky clean themselves--very few of the transponder codes they used were obtained through legal freelance work, and "aftermarket modifications" didn't begin to cover what had been done to the jump cores and shield generators of the five ships in their small but heavily-armed fleet--but figured, hey, the legitimate government forces can't do squat without evidence and it takes a thief to catch a thief, so here they were.
The next hour or so passed slowly as Roy thought up and discarded dozens of possible fake identities that might tempt Rit!tkatp into a trap, accompanied by Karma's ever-so-helpful running commentary, from the APF Free Two-Jump Shipping ("You know we don't have enough ships to fake an Amazon convoy") to the RSN Duke Duke Duke Duke of Oil ("Nah, he hasn't jacked any Saudi ships since that new petroleum refinery started up on Epsilon Eridani 3") to the RKF Package Delivers You ("He has friends in the Russian Federation and you don't speak Russian, you'd give the game away if he has native speakers in any of his picket ships") to the NSWS Beware of Drop Bears ("Come on, boss, Newer Zealand would never allow a Newer South Wales ship in their territory after that last incident").
Finally, Roy slammed a fist on his armrest, cutting off Karma's latest comment. "This isn't going to work. We're not the first ones to try something like this, and no one's ever pulled the wool over that bastard's compound eyes before. We have to try something new, but how can you possibly catch a gangster who's thought of everything!?" He dropped his head into his hands and gave a muffled order through his fingers to recall the drone and reset everything to defaults.
"You sure, boss? For what they're paying us, you really want to just let Space Tony Soprano off the hook like that?" Karma asked as the drone headed back toward its hangar and the ship's outlines flattened out into blandness. "You tell Charlie you're out of ideas and she's not going to be happy, and after all the wining-and-dining she had to do for the bigwigs on that New Phobos gig, neither is her bank account."
For a long moment, Roy just sat there, thinking, as a smile slowly grew on his face. "Bank account, huh," he murmured to himself, then lifted his head and spoke with renewed enthusiasm. "Karma, change of plans. Load up the Skreaming Skulls paint jobs on all the ships, and then I'll need to talk to the captain."
A burst of static blasted from the speakers before Karma responded, "Sorry, boss, had to do a systems check on my hearing. I could've sworn you just said the Skreaming Skulls."
"You heard me."
"The ridiculously-over-the-top space pirate getup you use when clients just want tons of property damage and for us to scare the bejesus out of whoever the target is? The one that would make me bluescreen with embarrassment if it were possible for my personality template to have gone through a goth phase in its youth? The one with absolutely zero capability for stealth or discretion whatsoever? That Skreaming Skulls?"
"That's the one."
"Are you insane? What happened to being subtle?
"Probably. And fuck 'subtle'."
"Well...you're the boss. Just don't mind me if I take a fresh backup and sync it back to base before we go."
"You do that. Now, give me a minute to write up a proposal and then ring up the captain."
A little while later, Roy leaned back comfortably as the face of Captain Charlotte "Charlie" van den Heuvel filled the screen in front of him. The pair of welding goggles perched on her forehead indicated that he'd caught her in the middle of fixing something, probably the dodgy recirculator on Chameleon One that kept breaking because they hadn't had the time or money to give the life support systems the full overhaul they needed.
"Sarge! I was beginning to think I wasn't going to hear from you today."
"I keep telling you, I hate that nickname."
"Well, tough. Captain's orders. I take it you've figured out a decoy job that'll fool every last one of those bugs?"
"Nope, not a clue!" Roy said with a cheery grin, causing the captain to lose her own grin. "Complete change of plans, and I think you'll like the new plan. I think it's time we called in the big guns."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "We don't have big guns, Sarge. The Chameleon Base retrofit got delayed, remember?"
"Not those big guns," Roy shook his head as he sent his proposal over to her. "Those big guns."
The captain read it over, as did the instances of Karma on both Roy's ship and hers, then whistled softly. "Gutsy, and stupid, but he'll never see it coming. Gold star, Roy. I'll tell Ace, Tiny, and Eagle to prep for departure. Briefing in twenty, jets up in forty."
A space station floated in the void, far off the established spacelanes and nowhere near anything resembling a planet, or even a large asteroid. Its only company was a fleet of ships and a handful of smaller defense stations, ranging in quality from the finest models that laundered money could buy to lightly used models that had been repurposed after what was left of their prior owners had been rinsed off of the bulkheads. The former sort had been built with the sorts of odd angles and strange proportions that their T!ka!irtk owners found aesthetically appealing and other species found headache-inducing, while the latter sort had been retrofitted to that design as best as possible, and in both cases they were all decorated in a manner that appeared to be boring sheets of uniform whiteness to those inferior species whose visual organs were limited to sensing what they laughably termed the "visible" spectrum of light.
This gathering of vessels was not hidden nor kept secret in any way, despite its remoteness. On the contrary, its master Rit!tkatp delighted in welcoming all comers to enjoy the creature comforts of his station, whether their tastes lay with gambling, racing, mind-altering substances, negotiable affections, or even more exotic pursuits. All beings, from the poorest sight-seer to the most inquisitive government investigator, were invited to partake in its pleasures--provided, of course, that they did not stick their olfactory organs where they didn't belong.
On this particular occasion, Rit!tkatp, patriarch of his extended family and clutch-master of the station, reclined regally in something that only a member of his species would recognize as a chair, as two of his employees filed his dorsal phalanges and several more polished his forearm plates. The T!ka!irtk species was semi-insectoid and covered with something that wasn't quite an exoskeleton, from which protruded many bony outgrowth that served both as defensive spines and as sensory apparatus. They had four bulbous eyes, two compound eyes for seeing motion and two simple eyes for distance vision; four arms and four legs, all multi-jointed and bone-plated; and a mouth both filled with sharp teeth and ringed by pedipalps.
The memoirs of the Human diplomat who had first made contact with the T!ka!irtk famously described her first impression of them being "the result of a drunken orgy between a praying mantis, a wolf spider, and the ugliest porcupine on Earth," and if anything she was being too kind.
Rit!tkatp enjoyed surveying his domain from the control center that was the heart and brain of the station. The clatter of dice rolling in the gambling hall, the rustling of smuggled goods passing through hangars not depicted on the station blueprints, the pathetic wails of those who required encouragement to repay their loans in a timely fashion...these sounds were music to his aural receptors, the rhythm by which he lived his life.
Alas, a flashing light on the proximity sensor board informed him that the intricate symphony of station operations was shortly to be interrupted by an unplanned intermission.
"Look alive, people," the captain's voice sounded in everyone's earpiece, "we have reversion in two minutes. Remember, don't take any unnecessary risks, don't worry about picking good targets, just keep firing at anything and everything in weapons range until you get the signal, then stall as long as you can." Acknowledgements came from Chameleon One through Chameleon Five, and each ship's crew performed a few last-minute equipment checks.
"Cortana, status summary for all ship systems," Roy called. "All systems green," came the cool synthesized voice of the virtual assistant, followed by Karma's voice adding, "Except the long-range transmitters, which are...blue, I guess, since someone decided that pirates like Cortana for whatever reason. Or whatever other color you'd give a system that I'm giving extra-special attention to, so that I can transmit myself out of the mess you meatbags are about to get yourselves into."
The bridge crew laughed, one calling out, "We love you too, Karma!" as the timer ticked down toward zero. The navigator started counting down with it: "Reversion in three...two...one...now!"
Right on cue, the HMS Dead To Rights, Seasons Don't Fear The..., No Kill Like Overkill, Gallows Humor, and Do Unto Others, Repeat As Necessary of the infamous Skreaming Skulls Skwadron popped into existence in a spasm of warped spacetime and hilariously bad graffiti. Each ship immediately unloaded every railgun, missile tube, plasma launcher, and drone fighter on board at the nearest target. They'd chosen their approach vector very carefully to ensure that no civilian ships were in the line of fire, just Rit!tkatp's goons. There were likely to be few civilians around in any case, as station security didn't like having too many ships arriving or departing at any given time.
The ensuing three minutes or so were the highlight of Roy's career thus far. Nothing like blowing up bad guys with no concern for ammo limits or mission objectives to relieve some stress.
But far too soon, the party was over.
"Bad news, boss," Karma called urgently, "we've got a frigate at our two o'clock. Make that three. Make that six. Um. Make that a six and two drone carriers." Roy glanced to the tactical display, disbelieving, but the AI was right: somehow, a mere gentleman crime boss had not one, not two, but eight capital ships at his disposal--and that's just what he had within jump distance on short notice. That would certainly explain how he'd managed some of the more impossible-sounding feats attributed to him, and why most local pirate crews would refuse to cross him for any reason and also refuse to say why. Must have bribed a shipyard or something...or, hell, maybe they were a present from some species that wasn't a big fan of humanity and would love to see someone meddle with their affairs.
Vastly increased danger aside, though, it didn't change the Chameleons' mission profile. The frigates had almost reached firing distance when Ace made his move: in the most hectic region of the battle, two T!ka!irtk gunboats went charging for the No Kill Like Overkill, both sides firing volley after volley of missiles and countermeasures at each other, and only two ships came out the other side of the expanding field of shrapnel and debris that resulted from the skirmish.
On sensors, the two surviving ships were the two T!ka!irtk gunboats, one heavily damaged and one mostly fine, and the expanding hull fragments of Chameleon Three were all that was left of the fake Skreaming Skulls ship; in reality, however, one of the gunboats had been destroyed and, in the sensor-scrambling confusion, Chameleon Three had swiftly scanned its profile and transponder and taken its place. The "damaged gunboat" turned tail and limped back to "its" hangar, immediately forgotten by its fellows.
The plan at that point had been to keep blowing things up while Ace worked to keep the attention on the other four ships, but the frigates changed things. It was all the Skulls could do to avoid the capital ships' guns, and despite some amazing piloting from Tiny and crack shooting from all the Chameleon gunners they shortly found themselves captured by tractor beams and dragged helplessly within range of the station's even larger guns. The crews' former high spirits were understandably shaken, but Roy reassured the crew of Chameleon Two that if they hadn't been reduced to atoms yet they'd probably come out of this alive so just sit tight and wait and everything would be fine, and he was sure the other officers on the other Chameleon ships were telling their crews basically the same thing.
The speakers crackled to life unbidden. "You know, I was having such a good day." Rit!tkatp's smooth baritone echoed throughout the bridge--or, rather, the voice of his translator; T!ka!irtk couldn't make the appropriate sounds for any human tongue, and vice versa for humans. (Unless they were fluent in one of those African clicking languages, from what Roy had heard, but even then apparently they sounded like a dog trying to speak French.) So both species used translation devices to communicate, and fortunately he'd hooked his up directly to the comm system so they only heard the translated voice. Roy had dealt with them in person before, and the way all those conversations would go was that they'd first hear one of the bugs say something in his own language that would sound like someone firing a machine gun at a xylophone, then the translator would speak in a Human tongue, then the Humans would speak, then their own translator would fire yowling cats back at the bugs, and they'd alternate like that for the duration; it was enough to give anyone migraines.
"I slept so well, my breakfast was wriggling, my customers were happy...and now, you jump into my system, the system of a law-abiding citizen, and you commit property damage the likes of which I have never seen. I am well within my rights to confiscate your ships in recompense and send your crew back to T!ka!ir to pay off the damages with hard labor. But I am a generous and honorable being. Tell me who hired you to do this, and I may be willing to let you go. I may not even inform the authorities that you did this, so that you may remain free to continue your detestable activities elsewhere."
Roy had to hand it to him, the man was smooth. Perfect "incensed businessman" tone with a bit of "agreeable neighbor" thrown in, and only a barely-noticeable dash of "unrepentant murderer" in the mix to show he wasn't to be trifled with. He acted just as if he were talking into yet another journalist's holorecorder; he had to, since for all he knew the Skreaming Skulls were live-streaming this conversation back to their mysterious employers in the hopes of catching him admitting to something illegal. That, too, had been tried a few times before.
Before he could think of something to say Charlie responded first in the most insultingly casual tone she could manage. "No one hired us. We decided that you were scum, and your ships didn't have nearly enough holes in them, and it's a weekend, and we were bored, so why not pop in and say hi?"
Rit!tkatp didn't believe that for a moment, of course--mercenaries, do something for free?--so he and the captain traded polite, velvet-coated barbs for a bit while the newer crewmembers waited on the edge of their seats for the moment when the alien gangster tired of it and ordered them vaporized. Roy had stopped paying attention, though. He only had eyes for one tiny corner of his screens, where he waited for a message from Chameleon Three.
As soon as it came through, he grinned fiercely and accepted the data transfer attached to the message, and several minutes later--it was a pretty huge transfer--he gave the crew a thumbs up, waited for them to quiet down, and hit the transmit button while the alien gangster was still speaking.
"Have you heard of an old Earth gangster named Al Capone?" he interrupted, to an uncertain pause from Rit!tkatp. "This is your second who barges into our conversation?" he asked. At Charlie's nod he adjusted something offscreen and now appeared to be looking directly at Roy. "No, I have not. This is relevant because...?"
"Well, I was thinking you might have, since he bears a striking similarity to a Mr. Zhanpeng Lee, a bureaucrat in the office of the Minister of Finance on Xin Beijing. Also a Ms. Beatriz Gonzales, a sales director with Lockheed-Grumman Industries. And oh, I believe also Mr. Dan O'Neill, Mr. Lubo Denisov, and Ms. Sweta Chandragiri. Need I go on?"
No response from Rit!tkatp except a twitching of his pedipalps. The mentioned names were either false identities he used to do business in Human space or bribed and/or blackmailed intermediaries between real companies and his shell companies, discovered in the complete copy of the gangster's financial records taken by Chameleon Three's instance of Karma, and the twitching indicated frantic thought on the gangster's part as to how that information could have been retrieved.
Rit!tkatp wasn't stupid enough to keep his personal records on the station-wide network for any two-bit hacker to find if he or she rooted an information kiosk or gambling machine; everything was in an armored server room directly below his office, hard-linked to his office terminal and shielded from any sort of wireless access, which only he and his most trusted associates could access and in which he could withstand an assault for several hours at least. And of course there was plenty of surveillance and security teams between his enemies and his data, such that anyone trying to dash to the vault would surely be cut down before they got even one floor up from the casinos. He'd taken every reasonable precaution against every reasonable form of attack.
What his security policies did not take into account, however, was an illegally-enhanced military-grade AI gaining root access to the repair bay computers several dozen floors below his office, taking over the station's maintenance robots (glorified ten-foot-tall alien Roombas, basically, and not particularly difficult to co-opt), marking all the corridors between the hangar and his office as closed for cleaning to clear out any civilians, quietly intercepting the camera feeds from the empty hallways, and then using Chameleon Three's boarding lasers to drill straight up through all those floors and into the server room itself, at which point Karma had physical dataport access and the game was up. "Crazy flying AI with frikkin' laser beams" isn't the sort of thing usually covered by standard security policies, so Rit!tkatp could be forgiven for not anticipating that.
"You think to threaten me? In your decidedly helpless position?" Rit!tkatp demanded, still maintaining his innocent businessman air with some effort. "You think that I will be afraid of images of extracted endoskeletons and oxygen-bearing fluids on your ships? No, your Human superstitions do not apply to the T!ka!irtk. We know that death is certain, and because of this we do not fear it."
"Funny you say that," Roy continued, "since we superstitious humans have a slightly different saying. 'Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.' And that's the striking similarity: None of those individuals pay their taxes."
Now the alien looked honestly confused. "See, I know that a businessman such as yourself would scrupulously pay your taxes, and so would any of your cover identities. Excuse me, your business associates. But you forgot one little thing. There's one backwards little country on good old Earth that's always behind the times and out of step with the rest of the civilized world called America, you might have heard of it. Those crazy Americans have all sorts of crazy policies; for god's sake, it's twenty-one-forty-fucking-seven and they still haven't switched everything to the metric system. And one of their quaint little rules involves taxes."
Charlie chimed in from Chameleon One: "You're damn right it does. See, I'm an American citizen thanks to my mother. Doesn't matter that I've never set foot on Earth in my life, or any American colonies, or hell, even an American-built space station, they take their 'citizens living abroad' thing very seriously, and every year I have to file my taxes with Uncle Sam. Every damn year. Eritrea used to require that too, but they gave up that nonsense almost a century ago. And I complain about it to my XO here every damn year, too...which worked out nicely this time, I guess."
Rit!tkatp had reached both left arms offscreen and appeared to be quietly yet frantically tapping away at a terminal, paying attention to Roy with his right eyes and his computer with his left; it was a somewhat disconcerting sight. Roy glanced over at his tactical display where he was getting a jump proximity notification, probably the same one that had the gangster all upset. Unless he was looking up Al Capone in whatever Human historical records he had access to, which was also possible. "And seeing as no fewer than one-third of your false identities have American citizenship and many of your shell corporations are registered in American colonies, well, that brings us back to Al Capone. When the government managed to show he hadn't been paying his taxes back in nineteen...whenever it was, well, that was a federal crime."
"Yes yes yes, I see your point," Rit!tkatp said hurriedly, chest plates clicking in alarm and dorsal phalanges folding outwards in frustration. "You have uncovered blackmail material on me, and now you will wish something in exchange for not alerting the Human governments, I am sure. So--"
"Nope, too late for that, sonny," Ace interrupted from Chameleon Three, his voice coming from Rit!tkatp's side of the connection since he was patched into the station's comms. "Already sent it all over. Would even have gift-wrapped it, if they had a tri-D printer in their office somewhere. Got a thank-you note back, too, ain't that sweet. Now, normally these things take something on the order of a hundred eighty business days, but I think in your case they'll make an exception. Right...about...."
Silence.
"...about...oh, come on, they said twenty minutes! Damn government bureaucracy, where's a dramatic entrance when you need one?"
More silence.
Then, flashes of light. Four unmarked ships in plain gray jumped into the system in escort formation, heading for the station. They definitely had the highly-functional-with-a-hint-of-muscle aesthetic of American ships, to Roy's eye; he thought the design was a bit boring compared to, say, the Brazilian or Italian fleets, but at least they'd stopped putting red, white, and blue stars and stripes on everything with an engine and a flat surface.
Rit!tkatp hesitated for long moments, all plates and phalanges going utterly still. "You're not thinking of resisting arrest, are you?" Roy asked mockingly. The alien glared at him with all four eyes, then spat, "If that is all the fleet your Bureau of Federal Investigators can muster, I don't see why not." The frigates dropped their tractor locks on the Chameleon ships to go engage the new Human vessels, leaving only the carriers and drone fighters (and of course the station itself) to keep them under guard.
Roy looked on with concern. Surely they didn't send just four ships? When even without the capital ships the region always swarmed with drones and the station itself could withstand a siege for days?
"That's not the FBI, buddy. They only have sub-orbital ships and no off-planet jurisdiction. Check the IFFs," Ace said smugly, and both Rit!tkatp and the Chameleons checked their tactical screens. "IRS? Io Rescue Service?" the alien said with bemused contempt. "Close, you're thinking IIRS, Io Interstellar Rescue Service. Nope, that there's the Internal Revenue Service."
On the far side of the fleet, the frigates were engaging the new arrivals. The front two ships turned out to be torpedo boats, the IRS In Triplicate and the IRS Red Tape, and they were unloading missile volleys on the frigates at a staggering pace while the support ships IRS Credit Freeze and IRS Wage Garnishment raised jamming fields and fired off the occasional EMP burst. The T!ka!irtk frigates, confident in their superior numbers, didn't even slow down as they approached the quartet of smaller ships, and so they were caught completely by surprise when three new ships jumped in right above the others, the destroyers Rapid Depreciation, Asset Liquidation, and Maximum Deductions.
"Your mere tax collectors have capital ships?" Rit!tkatp asked incredulously. Roy wasn't sure if the gangster had forgotten the Chameleons were still on the line or if he just didn't care at this point, but with glee he replied "Well, your mere civilian 'casino owners' have capital ships, so fair's fair."
The carriers were ordered to the station's defense next without even giving them time to collect all their fighters, as were the few smaller stations capable of independent movement. As soon as they were out of range of the main station's protection, though, they were ambushed by yet more ships jumping in. These ships, three frigates and five cruisers, were large enough that both Humans and T!ka!irtk could see that they weren't plain gray at all; they were actually white with thousands of tiny black boxes and tiny black text criss-crossing their hulls. Of course, thought Roy, forms and spreadsheets. Should've known.
The frigates Thorough Audit, Double Entry, and Mandatory Compliance made short work of the carriers without their drone screens to protect them, and the cruisers Let's Get Fiscal, Weighed in the Balance Sheets, Nine-Tenths of the Law, Accrual Intentions, and I've Got 1099 Problems made short work of the defense stations, both mobile and immobile.
Roy didn't know exactly what a crazed T!ka!irtk looked like right before it decided to do something incredibly reckless, but whatever expression was on Rit!tkatp's face probably qualified. The main station began firing every last weapon in the IRS fleet's direction to prevent them from approaching as its long-dormant engines slowly came to life and began propelling it far enough away from the other ships to make a jump; a few foolhardy civilian ships darted out of various hangars and began angling for jump vectors so as not to end up who-knows-where in the hands of an angry mob boss, but most decided that they'd rather not risk entering the crossfire of a major fleet engagement, thank you very much.
He may have lost his fleet, many of his henchbeings, and his untouchable status, but the alien might still escape to fight another day. Roy could hear Charlie swearing up a storm over the comms at the prospect, and he felt the same way, but they were powerless to do anything about it. The Chameleons were still close enough to the station that it had but to pivot a single gun away from bombarding the other fleet to turn them to ash, so all they could do was float there and watch it inch away to freedom.
Until, that is, one last ship jumped its way into the system right in the fleeing station's path, arriving with enough force that Roy swore he could feel the gravity waves rippling through Chameleon Two. It was a dreadnought, and the writing on its bow proudly proclaimed it to be the IRS 3949-A
On screen, Rit!tkatp stared at the dreadnought for a long moment, then drooped like a wilting leaf, all of his plates opening wide in a sign of submission. The station's guns fell silent and its engines spun down before they'd even had a chance to reach full power. Roy almost felt sorry for the bastard.
Almost.
As the dreadnought and cruisers sent out boarding shuttles and his crew started talking excitedly about sending the battle recordings to everyone they know, Roy put on a mock conciliatory tone. "Hey, buddy, don't worry." The soon-to-be-ex-gangster looked up at him with his right eyes. "Sure, you might have been involved in wire fraud, embezzlement, smuggling, theft, grand theft, bribery, robbery, burglary, murder, assassination, illegal gambling, illegal prostitution, drug running, and who knows what else on top of the major tax fraud, but at least you avoided one thing."
He leaned forward and lowered his voice, and Rit!tkatp leaned in as well.
"Count yourself lucky that you never, ever committed mail fraud, because US postal inspectors...well, those fuckers don't mess around."
submitted by ArgentScribe to HFY [link] [comments]

Regular Season Week 13: Carolina Panthers at Seattle Seahawks Pre Game

Regular Season Week 13: Pregame Report

[Weekly Contest!!!]()

CAROLINA VS. SEATTLE
306 Attempts 1204 Yards Rushing 266 Attempts 966 Yards
2885 Yards 34 +20 Yard Receptions Receiving 2988 Yards 35 +20 Yard Receptions
741 Total 31 Sacks Tackles 797 Total 31 Sacks
-5 Turnover Ratio +5
73 Penalties 606 Yards Penalties 82 Penalties 710 Yards
25.1 Avg. PPG 20.4
  • Game Information
ESPN GAME CENTER LINK
TEAM Record Against the Spread
CAROLINA PANTHERS (4-7)
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (7-3-1)
Betting Odds
Oddsshark Information
Favorite: Seattle by 7
OveUnder: 44
GAME TIME AND LOCATION:
CenturyLink Stadium - Seattle, WA - 8:30pm, December 4, 2016
WEATHER FORECAST: Stadium Type: Open Air Temperature: 38°F Forecast: Rain showers early with some sunshine later in the day. High 43F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 60%.
NFL Broadcast Map
Broadcast Station: NBC - Where to Watch: Any streaming device that has the NBC app and NBCSports.com, so don't ask about /NFLStreams for this game!
Announcers: Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth
NFL Red Zone - Provider Participation Required
NFL Streams - Look here 30 minutes before the game for Streams
Radio Broadcast Information
Need A Ticket?
StubHub
Ticketmaster
NFL Ticket Exchange
SeatGeek
Head Official John Parry
CAROLINA WILL BE WEARING WHITE JERSEYS.
  • NFC SOUTH STANDINGS
Team Record Home Away Division Games Back
Carolina 4-7 3-3 1-4 1-3 3
Atlanta 7-4 3-2 4-2 3-1 0
Tampa Bay 6-5 2-4 4-1 2-1 1
New Orleans 5-6 3-3 2-3 1-2 2
  • Tampa Bay is facing San Diego at Qualcomm Stadium @ 3:25p cst. NFL Gamecenter
  • Atlanta is facing Kansas City at Georgia Done @ 12:00p cst. NFL Gamecenter
  • New Orleans is facing Detroit at Mercedes-Benz Superdome @ 12:00p cst. NFL Gamecenter
  • HISTORY VS SEATTLE
Wikipedia and www.footballdb.com for resources
For those that do not want to click the link here is all you need to know:
  • All-time series 4-7
  • Largest victory 26-3 (10/08/00)
  • Current streak 2W
  • Since Cam Newton was drafted the Panthers are 2-4
  • The Panthers and Seahawks have faced off 6 times in the past 5 years, twice in the playoffs.
  • The Panthers and Seahawks have faced each other in the playoffs 3 times, the Seahawks leading 2-1. In each game the winner scored 31+ points.
  • The Panthers and Seahawks have made their appearance in 3 of the past 3 Super Bowls.
  • Players to Watch: Panthers

Trai Turner

The Panthers are tied for second in the NFL for the most amount of players it has used in combination in its offensive line in 2016 with 11. This week will keep that streak going as Carolina gears up to play against one of the NFC’s best pass rushing fronts with their Pro Bowl guard moving to the outside and playing RT in the absence of Daryl Williams, who went down last week with Gino Gradkowski.
Asking a guard to play tackle isn’t as simple as it sounds and Turner does not have the luxury of learning against weaker competition. Michael Bennett, the Seahawks best defensive line player, is set to return to play against Carolina after missing the last month recovering from surgery. The Panthers apparently used up all of their luck last season and now the most crucial aspect remaining for 2016 is to see the team stay healthy. It will be up to Trai and the tattered remnants of Carolina’s offensive line to stop Bennett and Avril from teeing off on Cam all afternoon.

James Bradberry

As this season shifts gears from one where fans hope for a wild playoff push to one where the team tries to establish its pieces for the future, fans attention will now narrow to individual performances. No player on the team has been asked to do more with less than the Panther’s second round draft pick. Each and every week, while trying to establish himself in the NFL after a collegiate career at a smaller AA school, Bradberry has been asked to cover some of the best WR’s in the league without the support of a consistent pass rush or anything resembling cohesion in the Panther’s defensive backfield.
Outside of the few games Bradberry missed with turf toe this year, the rookie has exceeding the very high expectations thrown at him. Although his stats don’t show it, Bradberry has been a weapon locking down opponents best receivers for most of the year. The future for Bradberry and the Panthers secondary seems bright, and this week will provide another game for fans to get a glimpse of Bradberry’s capabilities as he goes toe to toe with Seattle’s very dangerous and vastly underrated WR, Doug Baldwin.

Greg Olsen

The Panthers most reliable offensive weapon and cornerstone of the franchise must be kicking himself after missing a fingertip catch late in last week’s game in Oakland. With that one grab, Goalsen could have converted a key possession for the Panthers, putting them in position to win a game they had no business winning.
But Greg did not reign in the laser from Cam, which is easily forgivable for fans since Greg has saved the offenses’ bacon more times than any of us can count. To be honest, Greg making that catch would be counter to the Panthers fortunes this season, so the miss really aligns more with the themes the franchise has experienced in the trainwreck we call 2016.
But where do we go from here? Olsen represents, along with another longtime captain in Thomas Davis, the Panthers refusal to quit when the chips are down. In two different contests this season, against the Raiders and the Falcons, Greg Olsen has proven to be unbreakable, and made gigantic contributions to efforts which almost erased huge first half deficits. If the Panthers have any hope of pulling a gigantic upset off in Seattle, they will need another dose of magic from their All-World TE, who blew the city of Seattle up a little over a year ago with one of the best comeback performances in team history. Can Greg make more Seattle fans cry in their rain-diluted craft beers? Tune in on Sunday to find out.

Kony Ealy

Kony is fortunate in one very key instance this season. He is lucky this is not a contract year. After almost single-handedly navigating the Panthers defense to a win last January in the Super Bowl, one in which he registered three sacks and a key interception, Kony has frankly been a massive disappointment in 2016.
After a half-season of the coaching staff trying to force Kony to play opposite Charles Johnson, they finally realized he was much more dominant playing on CJ’s side of the line, thus rotating these two edge rushers with Mario Addison and Wes Horton assuming Kony’s old spot. What began as a turn in the right direction, has also cooled off over the last several weeks.
As Carolina begins a final quarter of its season that will feel more like an extended job application, it is paramount that Kony regain some of the form he began to show last season if he wants to remain in the plans for Carolina in 2017 and beyond. This week’s matchup provides an excellent opportunity for Ealy to shine against a maligned Seattle offensive line. But as Carolina fans understand all too well, creating pressure against Seattle and Russell Wilson is only half the battle and Ealy will be responsible for setting the edge and containing the Seahawks highly mobile QB from doing what he does best, creating opportunities on the run. Time is running out, Kony.

Cam Newton

Cam has found himself on these lists a lot this season. As is to be expected from the league’s former MVP. This week, however, Cam finds himself in the spotlight for different reasons. Fans want to know what their signal caller is made of. Cam has had lots of problems in his career dealing with adversity. Cam is simply unstoppable once he and his offense gets on a roll, but Cam can display an entirely different personality at times when the team struggles.
Last week was inspiring for the fanbase as Cam focused in and almost brought his team back from more than a three touchdown deficit on the road to win. He did so with about half the team's starting roster on IR. Even though the team came up short for reasons having more to do with game management and coaching, Cam never quit and showed that he has the ability to shed bad fortune and will his team to score. This season has not been kind to Cam, whether it be scheduling, injuries, the unapologetic head-hunting, or the popular trend of throwing Cam under the bus in the media, Cam’s 2016 can’t be more of a polar opposite to his unstoppable 2015 effort.
This week the cards aren’t only stacked against Cam, the card table and the casino have also been thrown on the pile. Cam will be facing one of the league’s fiercest defenses with only one member of his offensive line playing in their natural position. The defense that will compliment his efforts will also be playing without many of its best pieces, with Kuechly, Addison, Coleman and Leonard Johnson all out. How will Cam respond? Even with the postseason hopes all but buried, will Cam still find some way to overcome giant odds to snatch an upset victory this Sunday? More is at stake here than just a meaningless win in December. Carolina needs to know that its franchises’ most successful player is built from championship material. And sometimes seeing how players fare when the entire world seems to be against them is the perfect environment to test that material out.
  • What To Watch

Panthers Offensive Line vs Seahawks Defensive Line

So, it'd be a lie to say things aren't looking dire. Our patch work line will be put to the test with an already dangerous Seattle defensive front 7 getting their star pass rusher back from injury in Michael Bennett. While the Panthers and Seahawks usually play a low-scoring, tight affair, the Panthers are going to need the offensive line to step up to open any kind of running potential from Stewart and Cam. The team seems to be able to put up points at will if there is decent production from their rushing attack, but that is at threat with a crippled offensive line that now gets to face on of the best defense in the league.

Bradberry/Worley vs Doug Baldwin

This is probably the most comfortable matchup coming into the 13th week game against the Seahawks. So far, the young duo have held up well against some of the better receivers in the league, just a week ago holding the Raider's dual threat of Cooper and Crabtree to 48 yards alone. The Seahawks really only sport a single threat at receiver, the other coming from the tight end position, so expect to see Worley and Bradberry trade off on keeping Baldwin in check.

Jimmy Graham vs Panthers Defense

While the rookie corners will be tasked with simply holding their side of the field, Graham will make life very difficult against a Panthers defense missing it's star linebacker and top safety. While the linebackers will have their hands full attempting to keep the very shifty Russell Wilson in check, they'll most likely take a beating from a surging Jimmy Graham.

Panthers Defensive Line vs Seahawks Offensive Line

It's like a mirror image, except a little better for the Seahawks. While Seattle is also attempting to play from behind one of the worst offensive lines in the league, the Panthers do not have the luxury of their best pass rusher returning, as Mario Addison is expected to be out another week for a knee injury. But this doesnt mean that the line couldn't feast. While KK and Ealy have been mostly non-factors in the season, this is the favorable matchup for them to make some sort of noise, even if they go back to being quiet for the remainder of the season.
  • Injury Report: CAROLINA PANTHERS
Name Pos. Injury Status
Luke Kuechly LB Concussion Out
Kurt Coleman S Concussion Out
Mario Addison DE Knee Out
Daryl Williams OT - Out
  • Injury Report: SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
Name Pos. Injury Status
C.J. Procise RB Shoulder Out
Paul Richardson WR Hamstring Out

Week 13 Picks

  • CBS

CBS Picks Link

Pete Prisco Jason LaConfora Will Brinson Jared Dubin Ryan Wilson John Breech Dave Richard Jamey Eisenberg
Record 74-95 80-89 87-82 83-85 80-89 82-87 91-78* 84-85
CAR x x x
SEA x x x x x
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  • FOX

FOX Picks Link

Chris Chase Dieter Kurtenbach Andrew Lynch Peter Schrager Brett Smiley What If Sports
Record 95-81 108-68 115-61* 105-71 108-68 106-70
CAR
SEA x x x x x x
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  • ESPN

ESPN Picks Link

Matt Bowen Adam Caplan Mike Golic Dan Graziano Merril Hoge Ron Jaworski KC Joyner Kevin Seifert Seth Wickersham
Record 110-67 105-73 110-67 107-71 105-72 105-72 111-66* 108-69 108-69
CAR
SEA x x x x x x x x x
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  • TOTALS
CBS FOX ESPN Total
CAR 3 0 0 3
SEA 5 6 9 20
  • NFL Pick Watch
All expert 2016 NFL Picks compared. A free ad-click funded service comparing every analyst at ESPN, Bleacher Report, CBS, FOX, Yahoo!, ProFootballFocus, USA Today, Accuscore, NFL Network, NFL.com, SI.com and more – sorted by season win percentage.
CAROLINA PANTHERS 3%
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 97%
Click here for breakdown of all expert picks.
  • Top Ten Expert Picks
Rank Expert Network Season Record % Pick
1 Andrew Lynch FOX Sports 115-61 % SEA
2 Chris Simms Bleacher Report 101-75 % SEA
2 Dana Larson Dallas Morning News 108-68 % SEA
2 David Steele Sports Nation News 114-62 % SEA
2 Elliot Harrison NFL Network 117-59 % SEA
2 Jeff Ratcliffe Pro Football Focus 113-63 % SEA
2 Joel Thorman SB Nation 113-63 % SEA
2 Kate Hairopoulos Dallas Morning News 115-61 % SEA
2 Mike Middlehurst-Schwartz USA Today 116-60 % SEA
2 NFL.com Fan Picks NFL Network 115-61 % SEA
  • Computer Driven Statistical Probabilities
Amos Bing [ESPN FPI]() Project 538 Microsoft Cortana
Record
CAR 43% 31% % 29% 31%
SEA 57% 69% % 71% 69%

Conference Play

  • NFC STANDINGS
Team Overall Record Division Division Record Conf Record PF PA Streak
Cowboys 11-1 NFC East 3-1 7-1 333 228 W11
Seahawks 7-3-1 NFC West 1-1-1 3-3-1 224 187 L1
Lions 7-4 NFC North 2-2 5-2 247 238 W3
Falcons 7-4 NFC South 3-1 5-3 358 302 W1
Giants 8-3 NFC East 2-1 5-3 231 213 W6
Redskins 6-4-1 NFC East 2-2 4-3 280 264 L1
Buccaneers 6-5 NFC South 2-1 5-3 249 264 W3
Vikings 6-6 NFC North 1-3 4-6 233 209 L2
Saints 5-6 NFC South 1-2 4-3 334 307 W1
Packers 5-6 NFC North 2-1 4-4 274 289 W1
Eagles 5-6 NFC East 0-3 3-6 254 213 L2
Cardinals 4-6-1 NFC West 2-1-1 3-4-1 245 228 L1
Panthers 4-7 NFC South 1-3 4-4 276 281 L1
Rams 4-7 NFC West 2-1 3-5 170 236 L2
Bears 2-9 NFC North 2-1 2-5 178 264 L3
49ers 1-10 NFC West 1-3 1-7 228 343 L10
  • (x) Clinched Division
  • (z) Clinched Bye
  • (y) Clinched Playoff Berth
  • IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
  • News and posts that are either important or were popular on the sub

Reminder to not go into the Saints or Seahawks subreddit after the game on Sunday.

Thanks to the team!
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The LIST: Metro Happenings Thursday March 01 - Sunday March 04, 2018

Thursday March 01, 2018

Friday, March 02 2018

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Sunday, March 04, 2018

submitted by shawnee_ to PortlandMetro [link] [comments]

What's Happening in CoMo This Weekend (March 3-6) - This is a great weekend to get out and about in Columbia!

CONTENT COURTESY OF COLUMBIA CVB
 
ON STAGE
SPECIAL EVENTS
 
SPORTS
GALLERY
 
LIVE MUSIC
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
 
MOVIE GUIDE
THE CHOICE - In this romantic drama adapted from the novel of the same name by Nicholas Sparks, medical student Gabby moves next door to a charming womanizer named Travis in North Carolina. Although Gabby has a serious boyfriend, she and Travis quickly develop feelings for each other that blossom into love; over the course of a decade, their relationship faces ups and downs as they try to decide what they want out of life and what is truly important.
DEADPOOL - In this irreverent spin on the superhero genre, former Special Forces soldier Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) agrees to participate in a top-secret experiment after learning that he has terminal cancer. When the procedure leaves him with advanced healing powers and a disfigured face, he reinvents himself as a wisecracking, spandex-clad mercenary known as Deadpool, and seeks revenge on those responsible.
EDDIE THE EAGLE - Inspired by true events, Eddie the Eagle is a feel-good story about Michael “Eddie” Edwards (Taron Egerton), an unlikely but courageous British ski-jumper who never stopped believing in himself – even as an entire nation was counting him out.
GODS OF EGYPT - In this spectacular action-adventure inspired by the classic mythology of Egypt, the survival of mankind hangs in the balance as an unexpected mortal hero Bek, undertakes a thrilling journey to save the world and rescue his true love.
HAIL, CAESAR! - Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin), a slick Hollywood fixer, is pressed into action when superstar actor Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) is kidnapped and held for ransom by a mysterious group. Mannix races to quietly collect the ransom money without gossip columnist Hedda Hopper (Tilda Swinton) catching wind of the scandal.
HOW TO BE SINGLE - Four women with vastly different ideas about love and relationships navigate the single life of New York City. Taking a break from her long-term boyfriend Josh (Nicolas Braun), Alice (Dakota Johnson) sets out on a journey of self-discovery aided by her hard-drinking new friend Robin (Rebel Wilson). Meanwhile, Alice's career-driven older sister Meg (Leslie Mann) struggles with the idea of settling down, and uptight romantic Lucy (Alison Brie) searches for her perfect match.
KUNG FU PANDA 3 - Jack Black returns as the voice of lovable martial-arts panda Po in the third adventure in the animated series. Po is reunited with his long-lost father Li (Bryan Cranston), and the pair travel to a secret panda sanctuary where they must team up to defeat an evil ancient force and restore the kung fu order.
LONDON HAS FALLEN - In this sequel to the 2013 action thriller Olympus Has Fallen, a terrorist plot unfolds in London as a number of politicians gather for the funeral of the British prime minister. A Secret Service agent (Gerald Butler), the U.S. president (Aaron Eckhardt), and an MI-6 operative (Charlotte Riley) must work together to stop the terrorists from assassinating the world's leaders and destroying the city's landmarks.
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES - In 19th-century England, Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James), master of martial arts and weaponry, joins forces with zombie killer Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley) to battle the undead
RACE - Based on the incredible true story of Jesse Owens, the legendary athletic superstar whose quest to become the greatest track and field athlete in history thrusts him onto the world stage of the 1936 Olympics, where he faces off against Adolf Hitler.
RIDE ALONG 2 - Kevin Hart and Ice Cube lead the returning lineup of Ride Along 2, the sequel to the blockbuster action-comedy that gave us the year’s most popular comedy duo.
RISEN - In this suspenseful drama set in biblical times, a Roman soldier (Joseph Fiennes) has a crisis of faith when he witnesses firsthand the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
TRIPLE 9 - In TRIPLE 9, a crew of dirty cops is blackmailed by the Russian mob to execute a virtually impossible heist. The only way to pull it off is to manufacture a 999, police code for “officer down”.
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT - Eager for a new professional challenge, TV reporter Kim Baker (Tina Fey) decides to serve as a foreign correspondent in Afghanistan, where she is embedded with a Marine unit. During her time abroad, she is forced to contend with a fiery U.S. general (Billy Bob Thornton), and befriends a fellow reporter (Margot Robbie) and a British photographer (Martin Freeman)
THE WITCH - A devoutly Puritan family in 1630s New England is exiled from their village and struggle to survive in their new home situated on the edge of a mysterious wilderness. The sinister, witching forces in the wilderness emerge silently to terrorize the family, first by stealing the youngest of their five children. As their life-sustaining crops fail, the family falls victim to paranoia and fear as they begin to turn on one another, suspecting young teen Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy) of witchcraft. With the vast majority of the dialogue culled from primary sources of the time period, Robert Eggers' shocking debut horror feature is a terrifying glimpse into a family descending into madness.
ZOOTOPIA - In a city inhabited by anthropomorphic animals who have abandoned traditional predatoprey roles in favor of civilized coexistence, uptight rabbit police officer Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin) is forced to work with charismatic fox con artist Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) to crack a major case involving the mysterious disappearance of some carnivorous citizens. But when a few of the missing critters reappear, having reverted to pre-enlightenment savagery, it exposes existing anti-carnivore prejudice among the city's herbivores that threatens to damage the fabric of their diverse metropolis.
 
CHECK EACH THEATRE FOR SHOWTIMES
RAGTAG CINEMA – 10 Hitt Street 573-443-4359
REGAL STADIUM 14 THEATER – 2800 Goodwin Pointe Drive 573-817-0770
GOODRICH FORUM 8 – 1209 Forum Katy Parkway 573-445-7469
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[Table] IamA Native American woman on a full ride scholarship to become an attorney for my tribe; AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-11-29
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
I spent a bit of time amongst the natives in British Columbia. I quickly discovered most Canadians are quite upset with all of the things the native peoples receive from the government and how much of it seems to go to waste. I've seen firsthand many problems with alcoholism and other problems. My question is, how do you think these problems can be overcome? Does the government have a role in fixing First Nations problems? Our tribe doesn't receive any money or resources from the government unless there's a settlement on something. All of our money comes from the casino and other enterprises; however, tribal members get per capitas and have access to many resources from that money. And sometimes, people take advantage in all the wrong ways.
I don't know quite how the problems could be overcome because I've experienced first hand that an addict will not get better unless he/she wants to. No amount of consequences are going to change that. However, I think resources should be limited to those who are going to use them right. I've advocated for drug tests before access to scholarships/emergency funds/etc. on our reservation but it's a tough rule to implement. You can't just go around drug testing people and those tests cost somewhere around $35 each where I live.
I don't think the government has a role unless they are actively providing for that tribe (if that's what they do in Canada... I'm unsure). My tribe is sovereign so it's up to us to overcome it. And believe me when I say we are trying. It's hard though... people will do what they want to do.
What instance(s) drove you to make this decision? You seem very dedicated to your tribe - was the decision more for you or for them? Originally, I wanted to be a doctor but I wasn't cut out for it. I started studying philosophy and changed to be pre-law. My dad (who is full Native) pushed me to intern at our attorney's office and I found that it was really eye opening. They had me travel to look at another tribe's court system and help our court expand; they even involved me in business decisions. I didn't really know that we still had to fight for some rights before I worked there.
But also, as of now there are no tribal attorneys in the office. I think it's important to have our people in those kind of positions.
Edit: to answer - for both. It helps me secure my future as well as be a part of helping my tribe move forward.
Could you elaborate on still fighting for rights? It isn't something you hear about often (unless you live in OK like me). We mostly deal with fishing and hunting rights on our tribe.
Also, in WA State last year they implemented a new law where alcohol could be sold in grocery stores but this made the taxes go up to like 24% or something. And the government was trying to tax our smoke shop that amount. But taxes are different on the reservation because we are a sovereign nation so they had a court case on that.
Also also, we received a settlement last Summer for water rights... I wasn't involved though so I don't know what it was about.
I'm Metis and I wonder if you face extreme/minor biggotry/racism still? I think the most bigot/racist things I encounter these days are "haha you guys have a casino" or the "how - I can speak Native" people. Most often people are just curious what a reservation is.
My second question is what kind of law are you going to study to help or be employed by your tribe? If I go to school back home I'll be studying Indian Law. If I can get into the school that offers that program at least... Our attorney's mostly deal with business and treaty rights so hopefully I can get a grasp on those.
My third Do you ever go up north in Canada to go see how the natives up there are doing ? There's an anthropologist who has helped our tribe a lot. She's about 90yrs old. Last Summer I went with her on a trip to Canada (to help her get home safely). Myself and the other intern did a little walking around and visited the museums and stores. But other than that I haven't visited the First Nations' people; it would be awesome to dedicate a trip to that someday.
Keep me as a contact then Im in Ottawa me and the wife are both Metis and we have 4 Res' in our area you are going to be shocked to see how poorly they treat us and how shitty the land they took and gave back is. :/ will do; I know the government sometimes still fights tribes and some can't fight back. We fight back and often win. We live under two treaties and are really involved in making sure we get those rights. But I know our tribe is lucky to have received good land and 20 years ago wasn't doing so well.
What college did you go to? I'm at Johns Hopkins currently. And I hope to go to UW law school.
"how" Poached. If you're not familiar with the joke, and you have a sense of humor, I'd be happy to tell it. It has something to do with when settlers spoke to Natives they always asked how or something right?
Idk if your aware but Dartmouth college (which is an ivy league) was established to help native Americans in terms of education, and often give them special privileges, so if u cant get into your other choice,Dartmouth might be a great option for you. Wow, thanks! I'll certainly put them on my list.
How do natives want to live? Alcoholism is common. I think there's many factors to it. I mentioned in another question how Natives commonly have more ADHs than other races which means we process alcohol quicker (don't throw up and rarely hangovers). But also, some people grow up in very tough households and turn to self medication. My father was severely abused as a child and is a Vietnam War Vet - he's an alcoholic.
Is there a desire/fantasy to return to a nomadic life? I don't think that there's a desire to return to nomadic life. I think people want to hold true to their heritage but also adapt to modern life. We fish/hunt/gather but also buy grocery store food. We have powwows as well but our tribe only holds three a year. Some people travel to other tribes to participate but I don't.
Sweet jesus, he never had a fair chance. Hmm there's a shaker church (kinda like Quaker but not if I remember correctly) and a Pentecostal church on our tribe (my aunt owns it). I think there are less people involved in the Shaker church than there used to be but funerals are still held there. My parents were never very religious and I used to go to the Pentecostal as a kid but by choice and without my parents. There's no pressure to go I think in many of the households.
What about religion? What is popular amongst your tribe? All in all though we are pretty spiritual. Don't drop an eagle feather (and have it blessed if you do), don't go to the cemetery after certain hrs... stuff like that.
Is it possible to "join" your nation ? like becoming a US citizen ? You have to have a certain amount of blood quantum in order to be enrolled. I think there are rare cases where someone is "adopted" in but I don't think they have access to all of the resources.
How do you feel about it ? They recently lowered the blood quantum. I don't see it as anything negative. If someone has whatever amount is applicable, they should be able to enroll and have access to the resources we have. Some people think it's bad though; they think it will lead to people taking advantage of it. But there aren't a lot of cases where someone finds out they have Muckleshoot blood in them... so I don't think it's so bad.
Crushing my dreams of becoming a badass indian chief, one post at a time :o. We'll make our own tribe... with blackjack and whores?
I've very recently started getting interested in the law, mostly due to the Illustrated Guide to the Law. What would you recommend as a first read about the intersection between federal and tribal (or Muckleshoot specifically) law? Woah that's an awesome link. I've bookmarked it.
I hate to say I haven't done a lot of reading of public material. Most of what I've read on our legal system is from our attorney's office. However, here is an overview of our tribe and it has some of the court cases (specifically US v WA) that reflects my tribe.
What do you think keeps many Native Americans from using their resources afforded by government for free education? I recall seeing another ama where a member of a (perhaps Canadian?) tribe cited the view from other tribe members that going to a white man's college was selling out their tribe's way of life. Is that a common viewpoint? I don't think anyone feels like that from my reservation. We have a Tribal College but it's more like a community college and the people that attend it are mostly the older generation that missed out on going to college when they were younger. The government doesn't give us (me) the resources though; my tribe does. I know there are government scholarships but they aren't for everyone if I understand correctly. I think people are just afraid sometimes too. I'm across the country right now and it has been very hard. We grow up in a small community where everyone knows everyone. I'm the first in my family to go to college.
What is life like in reservations? Do you have the same luxuries as the rest of America (internet, television, running water, electricity, etc.)? On my reservation we do. Many of our people live in poverty but I believe it to be by choice. Our tribe has many resources - emergency funds for members, food bank, scholarship, jobs, etc. So many people don't feel a need to work... But there's also those of us that are helping to expand our tribe. We have a casino, smoke shop, market and deli, government system, amphitheater, lodge and spa etc. And it keeps a lot of our people employed.
I know our tribe is doing fairly well in these terms but there are others that got land in deserts that aren't so lucky...
What do you think about the redskins name change debate? I agree that the name is offensive but I hadn't thought much about it until it became a big problem. I acknowledged before all this but it was more of a "hmm that's offensive" and moved on.
Do you feel like progress for those in your tribe to become wealthier and healthier individuals is prevented by the traditional values/rules your tribe holds? I don't think our tribe is held back by traditional values but I know that some tribes are. We are a fairly progressive tribe. We still have our culture but we also participate in modern culture. Our tribe really encourages tribal members to get out and go to college somewhere off the rez. They want everyone to get their education and choose what to do with their lives whether it be on the tribe or off.
How do you feel about assimilation? I think we've lost a lot of our culture. Way back when, when the Europeans forced the Native children to go to boarding school and speak only English a lot of languages were lost, a lot of traditions were lost. I don't know if it was for the better. I can't say that I don't appreciate where my tribe is now. We are fairly wealthy; we are huge contributors to charity and all of our members have access to resources... but our language is nearly dead. And I don't dance at powwows though I've always wished I did. I think it'd be nice to have more of our culture so long as it doesn't hold us back. (but then again, who decides what held back is?)
If you don't mind me asking...was alcoholism a problem on your reservation? It is :( My dad's an alcoholic.
I've heard that on many of the reservations alcohol has been, and continues to be, a large problem. I did a research paper on alcoholism in high school. Native Americans have the most alcohol dehydrogenases of any race. Which means our bodies process alcohol really well. So... I don't suffer the negative side effects of drinking. I rarely get hangovers. So people are more likely to drink because they don't feel the negative effects. Not that that's an excuse... just some insight.
What's your opinion on the idle no more movement? Has it played any role in your choice of career path? No treaty rights should be infringed upon. The government has a horrid past of giving land/rights to the indigenous people and taking it back. We have a phrase called "Indian giver." It's always been kinda tossed around growing up. Like if I gave my sister a toy then took it back she'd call me an Indian Giver. I never understood it as a kid lol. But I do now. Anyway, any government that makes a treaty and gives rights to a tribe shouldn't infringe upon those. From my understanding that's what Idle No More is about. I don't follow the movement but I understand it. I think I have the same thought process going into my career; I hope to keep our rights as well as help my tribe progress.
I'm only asking this because you brought it up in an earlier post, is "how" an actual greeting in any native language, as far as you know. It just seems like a Hollywood cliche. As far as I know, "how" is not an actual greeting. In our language, "hoyt" is goodbye. I don't know hello and I'm pretty sure the spelling I used for the previous is not correct; it's just the sound it makes in English.
Indian Giver is an insult towards North American Indians. So I've learned... interesting.
Maybe marry in? danileigh? Have a kid that's a member? Of course if you marry and have children they could be enrolled (as long as they meet the quantum for whatever tribe). My children will be enrolled but I'm unsure if there children will be. Marrying would make you a part of the community but wouldn't allow you to enroll yourself.
I've heard about the rampant alcoholism present in the reservations, have you seen any of it first hand? How bad is it? Are there any programs in place to help? This is my answer on the same question:
> It is :( My dad's an alcoholic.
> I did a research paper on alcoholism in high school. Native Americans have the most alcohol dehydrogenases of any race. Which means our bodies process alcohol really well. So... I don't suffer the negative side effects of drinking. I rarely get hangovers. So people are more likely to drink because they don't feel the negative effects. Not that that's an excuse... just some insight.
There's a lot of drug and alcohol use on our res and the police/tribal council are really trying to combat it. My dad's an alcoholic, two of my sisters are addicted to prescription pain pills, one of my nephews is, etc. The tribe will pay for rehab indefinitely. My sister has gone so many times. And they have a halfway house for after. They really really try to help people get better but no one will get better unless they want to. Our court is working on a system now that requires rehab for people who commit crimes and fail a drug test (there's rampant theft on the res to pay for drugs).
In Canada (major cities like Montreal, Toronto, Edmonton, Calgary), one of the things I have noticed is that I have yet to see any native person who looks well to do. Is it similar in the US and in your tribe? And does that mean that richer people live on reservations or richer ones blend in more? Does the tribe help those who have settled outside of the sovereign lands? I think it really depends on where you are. There are some reservations that are doing really poorly and you won't see anyone doing well on them. Whereas, on my tribe you mostly see people doing well and the ones that aren't are poor by choice. I mentioned my father is an alcoholic but he's a functional one- he makes six figures. The people living off the reservation can still have access to most of the resources but I'm unsure which specifically. My father is an elder so the youth crew comes and mows his lawn; I'm sure those that live far don't receive that lol.
Does the "my mother says I'm 1/8th native but we have no proof" type of person insult you or make you mad? No, it doesn't insult me or bother me. Sometimes I'll say I'm Native and about ten other people will chime "me too!" but it doesn't bother me haha. I'm half but I look completely white.
I'm lucky enough to know which tribe I originate from, be enrolled, and have an active life in our community. But I know that others don't have that and that's okay.
Did you follow the Baby Veronica case a few months ago? I didn't but I just read an article. But I think that's an issue that is on every reservation. We have an ICW system and our tribe does everything it can to keep our children in our culture. And they work to NEVER terminate parental rights. I mean, if a parent gives them up then so be it but our tribe works very hard with parents to keep them involved. I've never heard of anyone on our tribe being disenrolled either.
I have a few Native friends and was surprised to learn a few didn't know about the scholarships and grants offered to Native Americans. (Where live) Why do you think that is? I thought that all students were aware of minority scholarships and would actively seek them. There could be a lot that contributes to that. My tribe has it's own scholarship program so I never thought to seek outside scholarships. I know they exist though. All kinds of minority scholarships exist so it's a no brainer that there is some form for Natives.
I guess it depends on how badly you feel the need for it; some people are content with taking out loans, some people can pay their way, some people just don't care about going to college in the first place, and some people don't want to put the work in to write essays and stuff and compete with others for scholarships.
If you feel like answering another question... So, what's the deal with Tribal law in regards to federal law? I believe I learned that each reservation is subject to its own law, as a sovereign nation, as long as those laws don't contradict federal law; which to me means that each reservation is like its own little country, which is pretty cool. Do many tribes take advantage of this? How often does this come into conflict with state law? Regarding that, when I am traveling through a reservation can I be held accountable for crimes in violation of the tribal law, even if I were not aware of them? Or, perhaps, prosecuted for violating state law, even though I'm in sovereign state? Please forgive my rough interpretation of this issue, but I'm so fascinated by it. On that note, do you need an assistant? I think I answered a similar question here
I haven't learned everything there is to learn about it yet but those are some examples.
How do I win at blackjack? I'm not sure. I'm more of a slots player myself. I'm terrible at blackjack.
Where does your tribe get the money from? Most of it comes from our casino but we also have other enterprises. We have a market and deli, smoke shop, bingo hall, lodge and spa, etc.
Will the tribe members now consider you an outsider elitist? I knew someone who left to get a degree and training in counseling and they considered her as an outsider because "she was too elitist to stay and now she's high and mighty." That's how it was for my father. He got into West Point and when he left the tribe rejected him; when he got there, the white people rejected him. But this was a long time ago... It's not too bad now. So far, I haven't gotten any negative reactions from tribal members.
I have multiple ancestry ties to the Cherokee tribe and have multiple family members on the Dawes roll. I have applied to be on the Dawes roll, how do you feel about outsiders joining the roll? I had no idea I had so much Native American ancestry until I started searching into the matter. Our tribe just put a new law in where more people can enroll; I think they changed the blood quantum necessary. I personally don't feel anything negative for new people enrolling. It can't hurt to expand our tribe. Good luck to you!
Do you speak a native American Language? I don't :( I think my dad does. Our tribe has a language but I only know a few words.
You should learn it, name it please, and make sure it does not die out. It's called "Wulshootseed" and I have some tapes. It's very guttural. I know I should learn it :/ a few young women are certified to teach it on our tribe so there's really no excuse.
How many people out of the tribe total speak it? And if you don't mind answering, why didn't you learn it growing up? I don't know the amount of people that speak it; the elders know it and a handful of the younger generation do. I went to our Tribal School until 2nd grade and then switched to public school. I know it was taught in Tribal School but I never got a firm enough grasp when I was there.
Does anyone write in it? A quick search seems to indicate the script is "Americanist phonetic notation", which seems to be Latin chars plus some combining marks, invented by Europeans. If people write in it, do they feel the script to be part of Native culture now? There is script but I haven't really seen people writing it. I have a blanket that has script on it with our tribal logo. I believe people feel that it is a part of our culture now but I'm unsure.
What would you like to tell people who don't understand Native culture, and are misinformed or ignorant on the subject? Are there any misconceptions that you'd like to clear up? After this, that I didn't get into college purely from affirmative action lol.
I wish you the best of luck in school. But really, that being Native doesn't mean the government gives us money. It's quite the opposite actually. We get our money from tribal owned businesses. And other tribes weren't lucky enough to receive land that could be developed. Some reservations are compared to Third World countries.
How do you personally feel about affirmative action? I think it has run its course. I think it was valuable to have for X amount of years but we don't particularly need it. I know people think I got into Hopkins simply because I'm Native but I worked my ass off to get here and everyone else should too.
Shouldn't you be outlining right now? ;) As in doing work? Yeah... I have a lot of finals to study for :/
Do you think you earned your scholarship academically or got it because you are Native American? I have my scholarship because of the tribe I belong to. Muckleshoot offers them to every tribal member. If it was from a different source I could claim it was academic. Our tribe requires a 2.0 GPA to keep our scholarships which is straight Cs so... not all that harsh. However, I'm currently attending Johns Hopkins so I'm a far cry from nonacademic.
Do you have a tribal tattoo? I don't haha. Not yet at least...
Since your studying law, have there been any examples where a "genetically predisposed" argument has been used to defend a Native American with an alcohol related crime? And was it successful? I don't believe there have been any cases like this... but I wouldn't know for sure. It would be really stupid if there were (I mean I get it but excuses are stupid).
Did you grow up on your "rez" or off? I grew up on my reservation. The only time I've been off is the last 4 years during college.
What are your thoughts of John Redcorn? Haha you asked this twice. I don't watch King of the Hill anymore and don't really remember the character. I don't find Hollywood's portrayal offensive to the point that I rally against it. I know that almost all of the portrayals are wrong and I started watching a documentary about it... but I just don't bother with being too offended.
Thanks for answering my somewhat cheekish question! If you have any questions regarding law school please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to talk you out of it :) Haha the attorney's on the tribe ask me every year, "Are you sure you want to go still?"
I am so embarrassed about some of the stupidity on this thread. That's awesome that you are working so hard. I remember being really embarrassed and astounded by the misinformation about Native Americans in public school. I thought the book "Lakota Woman" was an amazing read about the second occupation of Wounded Knee. Do you have any other suggested reading about Native American life in modern America? Sherman Alexie is a rather good Native author of books about his life growing up; they are fiction but I think a lot of it reflects his real life. I've only read a few but there was a movie on one too: Smoke Signals.
Also, as a lawyer for your tribe what kind of legal issues are you expecting to face, and what inspired you to become a lawyer? And, I've been interning in our attorney's office during the Summers. Our court is just now expanding to deal with civil and criminal law (before it was just family law - ICW cases and whatnot). I think by the time I take the bar exam I'll be coming back to an expanded court system. I think there'll be a lot of legal jargon that needs to be continually revised as the years to on; contracts with the state, jails, and police... etc. I've also helped in some business deals for the tribe as well. I think just knowing that I could do something for my tribe (since they're paying for my education but also because it's my life and will be my kids' lives as well) is awesome. So far there are no tribal members in our attorney's office and I think it's time we had at least one of us working there in that position.
I have been under the understanding that Native Americans of a certain purity (something like 1/16th?), that can prove their heritage, get free higher education. That's how a friend of mine got his. I've never heard of that... but I don't know everything. I go to JHU and it's a private university. I'm betting they don't pay for certain Universities but again... I don't know. My tribe pays for mine specifically.
What are your thoughts on Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl (and ICWA in general)? I didn't follow the case of Baby Veronica but someone asked about it earlier in the thread. I think she was a minuscule amount of Native but it ended up being a huge deal anyway...
Well in general, I support our ICW system because they try realllyyy hard. BUT, and this is just me personally nothing reflecting my tribe, I think it's impossible to keep all of our foster children on the reservation. I think they do a helluva lot better job presently but in the past it would have been valuable to look outside of the res. Our ICW was understaffed and overworked and kids went forgotten. And those kids aren't doing so well these days.
Is paint huffing included in the drug problem? No, it isn't. It's mostly prescription pills.
What do you think of anthropologists? In what way? They are certainly valuable. Forensic anthropology interests me most out of all of the fields. However, anthro itself is important.
Who's got the worst reputation in aboriginal affairs presently, Canada or the USA? If there's even a difference.. I'm honestly not sure. From what I've learned in this AMA I'd say Canada because it seems like their government still holds their land (in trust at least).
How is thanksgiving handled on a reservation? On ours, we celebrate like any other family :)
You look like the average white person, does it offend anyone when you say you are a native or half native? Well, there aren't a lot of people to offend. I've only met one other Native person here at Hopkins and I believe he was 1/4 (also appeared white).
In kindergarten all of the native kids got out of class got to go to the library, eat pizza and take a book of their choice. why didnt i? Wait, why didn't I get to do that?
Work for a casino. True... the house always wins.
What is a Native Reservation like today... I am asking this because I have never seen one... except on a static map. It differs across regions. Some tribes were very unlucky and received desert land. Those reservations live in complete poverty. They had nothing to do with their land; our reservation was lucky though and we got land that could be developed.
There is a large drug problem on the reservation so some places look really... impoverished. The people who do drugs become desperate and they steal in order to feed their addiction. They'll do whatever it takes to get their fix even if it means stealing from their own family. It sucks and I hope we can overcome the drugs, or at least to a point where so much of the community isn't doing it.
That's awesome. But, all Indians have a full ride. I don't think that's true... and if it is, then please point me to the grant/scholarship website for all natives. My scholarship comes specifically from our tribe. I didn't know of others but it'd be nice to educate myself.
I'm sure the government is the one actually paying. Gamblers are technically paying.
RIP Reddit. If you need me i'll be reading a wiki on her people, since this will be 99% jokes and 1% useless information. Haha well it's been 4 hours and there haven't been jokes so far.
Will you accept firewater and cornmeal as currency? What's firewater?
In personal dealing I might but that says nothing for my tribe. I'm partial to cornmeal though.
We were here first... I'd say we are pretty entitled for an education just as much as anyone else. I also have to say How would you Grade your stupidity and ignorance from 1 to 10 over the rest of your family ? He's a troll. If you look at his comment history it shows that he pretty much goes on threads and tries to piss people off.
Why do you feel entitled to college over a more qualified white man? Isn't this the definition of racism? Where did it come across that I felt entitled to college?
Last updated: 2013-12-04 04:31 UTC
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